I think perhaps disclosure leads to backlash, thinking I have become even more empty and unproductive after trying to motivate myself to finsihing  my personal testimony. Well almost a year since last post so doing an update. This week went to a conference for mental wellness in Richmond. Around a hundred people from Canadian mental health clubhouses showed up. It was lots of fun. The band ten souljers played the gala dance and they were fantastic. On saturday before leaving on sunday I did my first real bike ride since arriving in sechelt three and half years ago. Wow long time. Maybe a few twenty and thirty rides, fourty at tops. Oh i did have a five hour mountain ride the summer before last so i guess that counts. But I did 60km on my roadie which was fantastic. There was a nice inspirational quote at one seminar, so even though I am too broken and brainwashed, and find life fictional, artificial, and futile, "I will not let adversary defeat me". One of the workers from Toronto encouraged me to stay focused on getting healthy and persevere. Will see if i can be more thorough and comprehensive with a better synopisis fo the even tomorrow.