werid post title must not be blank this used to be automatic year month day hmmm

hey the post editor has changed lots,  2013 now, today the third of july, went to BC Bike Race with Christie and cheered on the riders. Then we danced to some live local music. Played with Cassandra's kids. Reminded of all the babysitting in the 90s. That was rewarding. They went home. I helped clean up the field then walked home. On the way I helped a local with their lawn. It was real long and they were trying to use an electric mower. The lady Connie gave me  a couple tips of sites on the coast. Limestone caves somewhere and a gnome forest near davis bay. I said this allowed walking home so as to not forget and it stuck and even kick started some internally generated memory. I remembered christie asked me to check how reynard was feeling. Added this to the verbal list. Did that. Got home and we shot hoops. Wow i had no idea i did that unitl writing about it. So weird and bizarre. Have not been motivated to use a journal in ages. Maybe if i write things down i can remember events that have happened that, episodic memory that is unavailable to my normal standing up awake brain. Right so shot hoops cool. Oh then i turned on computer and thoguth i shoudl check to see if my webpage still existed. It does. Logged in so tripod goes 'hey that guy is still alive and the account need not be shut down for expiration. Oh cool big word. My fingers seem to know bigger words than my mouth. Interesting!!! rememberd i had a blog. Oppened that as well. Hey I coudl still write in gibsons. When I was in Kelowna I felt more alive and linear and energetic and remembered that i wanted to write about the bizarre bits of my life. Maybe i have a Sechelt allergy?Anyhoo feeling much smarter and happy eating rabbit food. Better than meds. And I finally stopped hunger cravings. Twenty pounds is too much extra for my skinny bones. Thought I would give high protein alfalfa rabbit food a shot LOL. Good job brain you saved the summer. Going to get healthy.  Usually my blog is about aliens or grief or fashion or hmm oh yeah cleavage and bums! But as I am dating someone fragile I should censor myself. The world can not know the travels of my eyeballs. Oh I can remember my whole day this is quite lovely and joyous. Christie had me do an errand to see what the pump track was like. There was an organizer with possibly chanel coco noir, I could smell a hint of spice, still not the old nose but functional enough to bother a random stranger with a perfume question. Fun to be around lots of cyclists. Christie enjoyed herself. Canada Day parade was nice. Christie was bothered by some woman as she thought we were not clapping enough. She stayed calm though and did not let it ruin her day.

A bit of work after dear diary distraction. Just some notes to expand on later ... describe event in revelstoke, where i dragged through his garden after trying to get my baseball or football whiel playing with dad, he pushing nail through my  hand, dad coming to rescue but slashed at, then erasure of life, was going to try and publish a statement somewhere overseas that is safe but what the heck I won't use any names, it is all good, that town was creepy, in the 90s one of blanks friends told some people had actually gone to trial against one of the principals but it was dropped, I never go back, maybe not as bad as langley and abbotsford, hard to say, danger danger! Home invasion when we still had green boat ... remeber this in detail ... probably around grade three ?? was when i still had  a friends number on the wall by the phone whom i was goign to try adn call or the police was undecied, anyhoo,   older kids playiing by camper i try and chase them off, but get threatened, i run in and close doors ...[or was that separate, memory fragemnt about beign at the arena, soem guy tyring to pick a fight with dad follows me into washroom, dad was not at home that night workign at motel, mom and kids away...]  ok anyhoo try and close doors am by phone there is tap on kitchen window, guy with curly hair with nylon on head points at garage, i had closed fornt door and back door but not locked garage door, i race to try adn hold it, run down staris and hide, he talks with  and older female in the stairwell, some how i escape from basement,    .. holding door closed in mom s closet   did i bit, ?? i run  i get outside,   at this time in life i would could jump up and grab the mexican style woo dbeams protudring from the house, I did this and climbed up, curly hair guy grabs ladder and chases me, i jump off into garden then hide under the wood thingy with steps that is used for the laundry line, but the bad guy rips up a boarfd, then danger danger, gr1 or kindergarten  maybe the summer bewteen, playing with blannk by the courthouse,  at night, have to pee, tall think bad cop comes by danget danger,  there was also big fat bad cop whom ahd somethign to do with a wmom of two of my firends danger danger, maybr not a bad cop?? was bad cop reitered and in revelstoke when i went bakc to visit?? danger danger,   ealry memeory fragment  very young, many people in room in building on the river side  [south?] of courthouse    ....    a potentially good guy memory  bunch of people  over a friends lawyer house  i come by when by chance they are discussing me and what someoen did to me??  oh the father of a girl i dated for jsut a couel week sseemed to know somethign about somethign scary having happened to me,  and another friend s dad tried to actually warn me about scary stuff by a cop came by  and .. lost time ...    weird ubc memory  in car a discussion about hardware, you know the kind that isnt supposed to exist,  that memory seems to optimistic,  ...   some disnyland memories .. expand...  

what I have learned,  talkign about trauma can lead to more trauma, you can be called an hallucinator which can get you tortured, some doctors may say something like , wel lthose events may have happened but realistically you know they are to bizarre to be entered into court, so there coudl be no legal resolution, so it is best to focus on the here and now and jsut try and enjoy the life that you do have, even if it is broken, thes e are nicer docotrs and will not torture you and woudl actually give you antidepresants or some form of cognitive dialogue based therapy that is mroe effective, they are fewer adn rare, but nice, some police  and nurses and psychologists and gp s may have remarks sush as not only do scary things happen even scrarier thing =s happen such that noone believes, .. if we are to percieve life on earth as involing some for of human chess or plaentary script, being able to help isolated cases of individuals suffering woudl be nice, but this planet suffers from global warfare, slavery , mass torture, mass delsusions, seems rather futile, goo dlcuk,

it is wrong to ignore crime, when a victim has the capacity to affect change I think they shoudl do so, i fnot on a particular case  then on a more generalized goal of changed legislation prtecting  vicitms, increased surveillance to prevent crime, i hae lived a somewhat comfortable and secure life for a couple years , ideally i wanted to finish my police statment, but for some unexplicable reason  I have been even more brian damaged than usual here, anyhoo, I am bored and not worried about any form of backlash so  go forth my blog  may courage bring good karma